where do we pick up the pieces?

so the saying goes that when shit fails or falls apart we need to pick up the pieces…my question for you is where do we find them??

In my personal journey so far, I have found that this is much easier said than done…it takes a lot of effort to choose which pieces to pick up and which ones to leave behind.  There is a lot of sorting to do…we put pieces here, some there, some are packed in storage boxes, some left behind in distant places we’ve lived, and some just seem lost forever.

I’ve been hesitant about opening up here, but I’m beginning to move beyond that all now…the past few weeks have been filled with laughter, tears, disappointment, fear, obsession, anger, and an eclectic assortment of many other emotions and thoughts.   A little self-pity, jealousy, exhaustion, and doubt…I’ve been comparing my life to the lives of those I’ve grown up with only to feel less than adequate…but that was short-lived.  I’m now focusing on the positive things that I have going for me.  Even though realizing that all of my dreams growing up are far from coming true at this moment, I know that they are still dreams, although some are forever altered due to life’s experiences and the whole “growing up thing” in general.

I’ve been connecting with new friends.  True, genuine, amazingly talented and smart people who bring wonderful things to my life.  I’ve been a busy bee…so busy that I was looking forward to this quiet weekend with desperation.  However, now that it is here, I realize I don’t make the best company for myself.  I’ve filled my evenings with favorite TV shows, even got some books from the library.  I have two dogs (another story to tell) to keep me occupied, and endless pile of scrap-booking to do, and I have the apartment cleaning to catch up on.   I have a city full of things to do, a workout video calling my name as I eat Ben and Jerry, (Cherry Garcia), two new movies and an endless supply of watch instantly movies via Netflix, and I still have trouble finding something I want to do.

So, what am I doing on a Friday night in one of the best cities???  I am sitting on my balcony, drinking Newcastle, chilling with the pups, and self-reflection.   I am, however, on my last Newcastle, and so I am looking forward to my friend visiting who is most graciously picking up more beer. What could be better?  Hearing whippoorwills and crickets, listening to the small creek in front of my parents house, staring into a fire, and many other “West Virginia” things.   (Can you hear the hint of homesickness coming on?)

I have so much more to write about…so much more to share…I was feeling guilty not updating here.  However, tomorrow night calls for a favorite friend’s birthday party poolside and Sunday brings a lunch date with a childhood friend.

OH!!!  Please send my sister all your warmest thoughts and wishes!!!  She will soon try out for Field Commander of the Silver Knights Marching Band….and her big sister could never be prouder!!!!  Love you Bird!!!!